~Sooner than later?~

I guess the day I got up and left was always dawning, I just never knew it would happen so fast, one moment I'm sitting in a room being interviewed and being offered an opportunity of a lifetime, next moment I'm logging heads with my manager bout my resignation notice, it's a real relief that, that drama is all over. Soon, I would be leaving to chase my dream. To chase my destiny perhaps? I've been asking for a challenge all along haven't I? The Challenge has been put on a silver platter now. But yet I'm having mix emotions about leaving. My head screams "Go chase your dreams!!!"...My heart yells "What about home?What about family?What about mum?"...Am I worrying too much?Am I over thinking stuff?Just the other day...


Me : Ma, I'll be going in two weeks. Are you sure you want me to go? You'll be all alone...
Mum : ......Sooner or later, you'll leave right?It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. Go for it. I'll be alright...
Me : ..................................

I just didn't know what to say. I felt like breaking down. But I put on a brave face. I acted as though it was nothing. But deep inside, no one else but me knew that I didn't want to leave. I was scared. I was petrified. But if I stayed I would be letting go of my dreams. Letting go of what I believed in. Ma, I'm sure you'll be fine. But I'm not sure if I'll be fine. I think I'm more worried of me being alone than you are of me being alone. Get it? But, I'll take the first step out to test the waters, I'll make you, koko (not forgetting mandy) and pa (god bless his soul) proud. You all have sacrifice so much to get me where I am today. I won't let you down. I won't let us down.

And then it beckons, how would a boy always living under mummy's care pack up and leave?Out in the world all alone. Allergic to soap powder and goes *bluek* at the slightest smelly smell.And not forgetting my biggest fear.No clean underwear...SERIOUS...looks like I'll be using my swimming trunks alot huh? (inside joke)...one more thing, about that carton of Indomee. It's still there right?...